My Faith Story
They say that "sometimes God changes us a little at a time," and I completely agree. One day, you look back and recognize the significant changes that have taken place in your life. From where you started to where you are standing now, you might not have even realized how those small changes have been accumulating over time. God works little changes in you, and if you take the time to reflect at the end of each day, you may begin to notice them.
That is exactly how my faith story starts. It was a giant mess of walls so high around my heart, that slowly had to start coming down, 1 brick at a time:
I always thought of myself as a believer. I “knew” there was a God and that He had a son named Jesus. I “knew” there was a spiritual force called The Holy Spirit that somehow guided our morality. Perhaps I even convinced myself that I “believed” simply because I didn't want to risk being wrong about the existence of God and Heaven after I left this world. I didn't want to gamble with my eternity. But if I’m completely honest with myself, I know now that I didn’t truly know anything then.
When I was a very young single mom, I tried to do what I thought was expected of me: I arranged for my baby daughter to be baptized. I sent out invitations, invited all my family, and planned a small lunch for everyone afterward. When we arrived at the church, I wasn’t prepared to be completely mortified, shamed, and hurt by the priest. In front of my entire family and friends, he yelled at me for getting my daughter baptized as a single mother. He told me that I had offended him and the entire Catholic Church. Honestly, I had no idea I was doing anything wrong, nor was I trying to offend anyone. Scared, embarrassed, and filled with shame, I waited with uncertainty to see if he would still go through with the baptism. He did, but after that experience, I built a wall around my heart regarding religion and decided to walk away, choosing to believe on my own. I made many mistakes and, let's just say, not very smart decisions along the way.
Years later, after a marriage, twins, and another divorce, my maternal grandparents began attending a local non-denominational church. I attended their adult baptisms and witnessed a change in them both, though I didn't fully understand what it was at the time. The concept of adult baptism felt foreign to me; I had always thought we should baptize babies to ensure their entrance into Heaven in case anything happened before they grew up. When my grandparents passed away, I took the lead in planning their funerals. I knew they would want their service at the church where they were members, so I reached out to a pastor they often spoke of, Pastor Jim. He was retired but still willing to help and connect me with others to organize the details. Grammy’s funeral went beautifully, and I delivered the eulogy. During the service, I met a pastor named Seth, who was very kind and inviting. However, I was still afraid of being hurt again. After Grampy passed away, I experienced a small but significant moment. Guests were arriving in the foyer and were being greeted by my mom. Meanwhile, I sat alone in the sanctuary, reviewing my written eulogy to ensure it was perfect. Pastor Seth came and sat beside me. Have you ever sat in a church completely alone? No music playing, no people—just you? It can feel unsettling. I can't recall how our conversation began or what he said to spark my thoughts, but his presence radiated acceptance and safety. I shared with him a bit about my upbringing and why I had stopped attending church. For the first time, he looked at me and said the simplest yet most impactful words: “Kristi, you are not the only single mom at church. I love you, Jesus loves you, and when you’re ready, there is a place for you here.”
BOOM…. CRASH….. CRACK….The wall around my heart started cracking.
I don’t know if I ever told Pastor Seth that one conversation was the start of it all for me. I started bringing my kids to church again there. A little inconsistently at first, but over time seemed to be getting pretty regular. I joined an adult bible fellowship class on Sunday mornings and started really knowing that God created us to be in community with each other. No I didn’t know any of the answers to the questions and more or less listened to everyone else talk. Small little changes where happening and I started feeling safe there. Then, in our highschool kids parking lot during summer, none other that Pastor Seth himself was there. We must have been there for paperwork drop off before school started or something. We had kids both going into freshman year. I saw him as I got out of my car and said hi. He came over to me and we started talking. My friends, we talked for 2 hours in that parking lot. We talked about me, my goals, my faith fears, my family, and then he told me about the Gospel. For the very first time, I HEARD the gospel. Yes, I had heard of it before, but I truly didn’t know what it was. Pastor Seth asked me, “Can I ask you something, What is the gospel?” I didn’t know. I couldn’t even answer him. I think my answer may have been along the lines of “Something that the disciples, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John wrote?” Then, he told me. He told me what the true gospel is. He simplified it in such a way that I finally understood it and really HEARD it for the first time. Pastor Seth said, “Jesus, who was both God and man, lived a perfect sinless life. He died for all the world to pay the penalty for all sinners. He died for you. He rose from the dead. So we can all go to Heaven forever, if you accept him Kristi. Will you do that with me now?” Friends, I asked and accepted Jesus into my heart in a high school parking lot with Pastor Seth, in a puddle of tears.
BOOM…CRASH…..CRACK… Now the walls started coming down a little at a time.
I went through a mountain of challenges in my life over the next few years. Throughout this journey, that church and its pastors were constantly there for me, providing support as I kept growing. God began making subtle but significant changes in my life. When I moved, I started attending my current church based on the recommendation of Pastor Nate, the youth pastor and brother of Pastor Seth from my old church. I wanted a church that had a strong children's ministry. I vowed never to let my kids question what grace is and to help them know Jesus in an environment surrounded by people who are far more knowledgeable than I was. We found that place. I have watched my youngest twins, Maverick and Avery, make the decision to be baptized and share their faith stories with the entire church. My oldest daughter, Karlie, is beginning to write her own faith story as an adult. My oldest son, Brady, is developing a curiosity about faith as an adult. My middle daughter, Abby, who is in high school, has made tremendous changes in her life and has chosen a completely different path than the one she seemed to be starting down. I couldn't be prouder of all my children. This church is continuing to foster small changes in me as well. My partner Chris and I joined a life group and I have seen him grow deeper in his faith. I have met so many people through this church who have helped me gain a deeper understanding of our mission on Earth. I met a man named Bruce and his wife, Kim, during a church event called “Dinner for 8.” They pair you up with three other couples (or eight people total) who live nearby. Bruce told me about the mission trips he leads, and since I LOVE to travel, this was something I was 100% interested in. After a few conversations and a rescheduled trip, I decided to say yes. So, in October 2024, I went.
BOOM….. CRASH… CRACK… That wall was down.
Sometimes, God changes your heart gradually. Other times, He crashes into it so unapologetically forceful that the whole wall collapses, leaving you standing amidst the shattered pieces of yourself. In those moments, you begin to see and feel Jesus for the first time. You feel exposed yet safe, and you can let all those fragments lie on the floor. This experience ignites a fire for Jesus within you.
Dear Friends, Thank you for allowing me to share my Faith Story. I feel honored and blessed that you took the time to read it. I can’t wait to tell you about the fire that has burned within me and how much missions have impacted my journey. This story is still being written. Pastor Seth went home to the Heavenly Father far too early; he passed away unexpectedly in his early 40s. He left behind a very young family and a church that loved him fiercely. However, I truly believe he fulfilled his purpose here on Earth. He saved me and my kids, and I know that the future is now wide open for all of us, because he was sent for me.
